This week in the bake shop was a lot of relationship talk. Tis the season for dates, cuddles, and good times. The holidays can be rough especially when you are single and/or away from family. The big questions this week were: how long is too long before going all the way, what constitutes a proper date, and how not to friend zoned?
Lets start off easy, What is a date? I asked this question to coworkers, friends, and hook ups; I received many different ideas of what a proper date is, everything from a handy in a movie theater to swanky dress up dinners. The most consistent responses I received where length, subject, ending. Meaning the date should be at minimum 2 hours, preferably not just a beverage, hang out at home, or booty call. A beverage is a great way to meet for a first date, but having tentative plans for after the beverage makes it seem a bit more than just a hang out. This also allows for an easy out if things are going south. To me a date should consist of an event or adventure that has been planned by one of or both persons involved. It should create conversation, could be new to one or both, and is fun of course. The end of the evening/ date has come, now what? A verity of answers were suggested; the most common were a kiss or another beverage back at someones residence. There is no wrong way to end a date as long as its mutual and you enjoy it. Personally I tend to end most dates in a sexual manner, I am not the most patient and I like to know if there is natural chemistry. Does this mean that I won’t go on a second date if it wasn’t a mind blowing experience, no it just usually means I precede with caution. Unless it’s just real awkward in that case it’s usually a mutual understanding that, that will not happen again. Having strong communication and being comfortable with each other is over all the best sign of a good date regardless of how it ends.
The friend zone, a place where you truly are your own worst enemy. Once here does one ever come out of it? How do you avoid getting friended? How did I even get here? In my personal experience once friended you will forever be a friend. It’s not the end of the world, but it’s also not a great feeling either. It can be really frustrating when you’re trying to be an item/ move to the next step. There is a balance of being respectful towards the person you are dating and not trying to throw yourself at them like a fool but also vocalizing what you want and how you see things progressing. When feelings, thoughts or expectations are not clear this is how friendships begin for me. If I don’t know you’re interested and the signals aren’t clear then things natural process into friends. Maybe I am just dim, I know that I am horrible at catching on when people are flirting. This is why I appreciate a forward fella.
Till the next episode, happy hunting y’all.